Before I start, let me put up a disclaimer. You know, the one that helps me save myself when you guys sit on my head and kick my, well, you know what! See, I ain’t rich enough to fight against your lawyers so, here we go:
All characters and names mentioned by me today are not fictitious or imaginary. And any resemblance to many people living, dead, in a coma or just purely out of work is purely intentional and not at all regretted. Also, all ideas pushed are to kick you out of work. I love all you famous (and rich) designers and am lying!
Getting back to what we are here for. To give up on our tightly lipped schedules where we don’t have a minute free to say “Hello” to our own souls. You know, the world of Internet and freelancing is such that you got to fight against your free will so that you don’t end up messing your client’s time. It is like being on your toes if you don’t want the competition to rip your apart. But, have you noticed that most of us opt for freelancing because we want to get rid of the sick day jobs and be our own boss? Instead, we end up being a freelancer who is working like never before in order to rake in lots of money as quickly as possible.
I do understand the rush but still, come on, guys? Today, I will try to drag you all out of your schedules and make life a lot more interesting for you. There are a lot more fancy things to do that can keep you away from web designing. Well, not exactly fancy but they will prove to be interesting because you will be coming out of your freelancing fad. I won’t blabber anymore now. Here are the pointers for you to consider:
While in school my English teacher taught me to launch the bomb at the very first shot so as to keep the readers engrossed. Henceforth, I won’t save this for the last. Yep! Drink lots and lots of alcohol. Look around for some of the best liquor brands and drink them all. I mean it. Drink till you drop. I assure you that your “so-called” passion for web designing or freelancing will run miles away from you when you are a little drunk.
Remember, you have to continue drinking till you start seeing UFOs in your bedroom. If you cannot picture yourself as the secret operative commander of Area 51 then you aren’t drunk yet. Gulp a few more bottles. Kick your freelancing dream and live life like a true alcoholic.
Warning: You might just lose some of your best friends, relatives and clients so think before you take this seriously.
Don’t you know? TV is the best way to kill time. All that you have to do is assume that TV shows are inspiring you. Once your brain knows that watching TV inspires you then it will never push you towards web designing. Rather, it will look for more inspirations. More shows. More time killed. Soon, you will be the black sheep of the industry who is no longer interested in web design.
In addition, write a paper on the advantages of watching TV. You will attract lots of fans (most of them kids) and might just discover a new business altogether.
Warning: Though watching TV could be interesting, a lot of it usually leaves people lonely. Think!
Call your Ex
OUCH! Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to hurt you and push you down the memory lane from which you took almost 10 years to come out of. I want you to understand how interesting it could get when you indulge in another red-hot fighting session with your ex.
Go on. Call your ex and tell him/her how you lucky you have been since you’ve broken up. I know initially they will be surprised but soon they will help you take your fights to the next level. Indulge in it. Show some rage. Find some anger. Cry and feel lonely. Drink to kill boredom. Rinse and repeat!
Warning: Love is the most awesome thing that has happened to mankind. If you two weren’t compatible and had moved on then such activities can make you hate yourself. So, again, think before you follow this.
Hateful Words and Clients You Don’t Like
You are an Internet addict and you don’t want to give up using the Internet while you are on our mission of giving up web designing for some time? Not a problem.
I am sure that you must have met clients that made you go mad. It took ages to satisfy their needs. Still, you didn’t get paid up to the mark and your client was never satisfied. Perfect! Search Google for the best hateful words and draft an email. The text of this email should be such that it takes the reader hours of referencing from Dictionary.com. Make sure that the text is interesting enough to keep the reader engrossed till the meaning of each word is clear. Use a fake email address. Leave some proofs. And, send the mail.
Remember this mail will be of no use if you haven’t spent days compiling the best possible hate mail written in the history of mankind.
Warning: Terrorizing someone isn’t human. It is on you when it comes to choosing between being human or the other way round.
Wikipedia Twitter Facebook
Yeah! Read lots and lots of irrelevant content on Wikipedia in order to become the most knowledgeable human being on this planet. Indulge in social networking. Increase your online social network in an area which has all useless people. Spend time with them. See how they teach you unique ways to kill time. Have fun and live life but don’t design!
Warning: Social Networks and online Encyclopedias are full of useful information. The point is that some might be good for you while the rest might be useless. It is up to you to decide what suits you the best.
I can go on and on with such ideas but I guess I have shown you the path. You got to start running and discover more by yourself. Remember, don’t come to me when you find out that you already lost a month of precious time after you took this article seriously. I already have the warnings and the disclaimer saving my …
Salman Siddiqui is an alpha geek, design guru and seasoned WordPress critic. Writing, for him, started out of ego but it has become the most luring and enlightening career option of his life. He is walking that extra mile for his freelancing dream.